I am in the process of purging our house of its over abundance and in that process have really been thinking about how spoiled we are. In my quest to live outside of consumerism (cause I guess that's really the goal here) I am quickly discovering that I am mired in it. I didn't think that I was so sucked in because "I could see through it" or something like that. I guess it's pretty easy to delude one's self. I've been trying hard to become a godly mother and wife and am finding there is no room for stuff in that equation; only room for stripping away and letting go. I am learning that I use chaos and clutter and busyness to hide.
I've been struggling more and more with how much STUFF is involved with Christmas. It makes me sad. This celebration that is so central to what Christianity means is completely consumed (ha, ha) by the giant machine of desire. I go back and forth between being overwhelmed and disgusted. I'm really dreading this weekend. How sad is it that Thanksgiving, a holiday celebrating the pilgrims just making it through their first years here; celebrating the generosity of friends and neighbors and the abundance of things worked for is overshadowed by black Friday and shopping. yuck.
I've been committed out of necessity to simplify Christmas since we've been married but this is the first year I feel like I've done it purposefully. We have come in under budget on just about everything. I also made more of an effort to do things from scratch. But I always struggle with this. I'm always wondering if it's really *enough* for me to make something. Never mind how much time and effort and thought have gone into these things.
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