My new Dollies!

I am so sxcited to share with the world my two new dollies! I just finished them today. This is the first time I've made dolls with a shaped head, like waldorf dolls. Anyway, take a peek. Hannah is for my neice who will be 14 mos at Christmas and Roy is for ds who will also be 14 mos this Christmas.

All of Roy!

All of Roy!, originally uploaded by studor.

Meet Roy!

Meet Roy!, originally uploaded by studor.

All of Hannah!

All of Hannah!, originally uploaded by studor.

Meet Hannah!

Meet Hannah!, originally uploaded by studor.

fear & artmaking & the myth of talent

I just stumbled across this article from NYT about the Expert Performance movement. I'm really intrigued and (honestly) relieved! I have struggled against the idea of the "genius" in art making for such a long time, loudly proclaiming that I don't believe in such a thing. And there is an element of truth to that statement, I do not believe in genius per se, but there's always that corner of my heart nagging at me. Am I really any good at this? Why do I struggle to do this? If I just create "crafts" and don't push myself further, that will at least burn the creativity bug a little, right? Then I don't have to expose myself through my art making. Fear is such a dangerous thing. It's this constant niggling little voice shaking and threatening my confidence. So, what a relief to read that science is proving that it is not an inborn genius or talent that makes an expert but good old PRACTICE! And what a kick the butt to make me really commit to making my artwork. It's too easy to hide behind busyness or dh's schedule. This is important: for me if for no one else!

Thanks to Chris for posting this on her blog!

stuff: overflowing overwhelming stuff

I am in the process of purging our house of its over abundance and in that process have really been thinking about how spoiled we are. In my quest to live outside of consumerism (cause I guess that's really the goal here) I am quickly discovering that I am mired in it. I didn't think that I was so sucked in because "I could see through it" or something like that. I guess it's pretty easy to delude one's self. I've been trying hard to become a godly mother and wife and am finding there is no room for stuff in that equation; only room for stripping away and letting go. I am learning that I use chaos and clutter and busyness to hide.

I've been struggling more and more with how much STUFF is involved with Christmas. It makes me sad. This celebration that is so central to what Christianity means is completely consumed (ha, ha) by the giant machine of desire. I go back and forth between being overwhelmed and disgusted. I'm really dreading this weekend. How sad is it that Thanksgiving, a holiday celebrating the pilgrims just making it through their first years here; celebrating the generosity of friends and neighbors and the abundance of things worked for is overshadowed by black Friday and shopping. yuck.

I've been committed out of necessity to simplify Christmas since we've been married but this is the first year I feel like I've done it purposefully. We have come in under budget on just about everything. I also made more of an effort to do things from scratch. But I always struggle with this. I'm always wondering if it's really *enough* for me to make something. Never mind how much time and effort and thought have gone into these things.

Compacting and other things

I've been thinking about maybe committing to do the "compact" for the next year. there's a group of mama's (& papa's?) doing it on motheringdotcommune (MDC) that I could possibly join. Basically the idea is to drop out of a consumer-driven culture (in protest to rampant consumerism among other things) and only buy things that are second string (used from a thrift or off of craig's list, etc). The only exemptions to this are health & safety related items. I think I would also exempt raw materials and things I really need to get this house under organizational control. Such as shelving (NO MORE PLASTIC BINS!!!!!!). I definitely am committed to not purchasing new clothes. Since monkey boy was born, I've found myself going to Target for the hell of it cause I'm bored. We don't really have the money to just drop like that but I'm pretty good at convincing myself that I *need* whatever it is I want.

One way we've committed to living more simply is by deciding to stay put in this house for as long as we possibly can. Which is great (we couldn't rent this cheap!) and is daunting (we've got wall to wall crap piled up!). This month I've managed to purge 385 things from this house but I feel like it hasn't made the smallest dent. This weekend I hit the basement and that will help. It's time to let go of a LOT of clutter. Also, when I can clear a small corner in the basement, I'll be able to set up a space for doing my artwork. That will help a lot.

My place of refuge

Here it is! My postage stamp-sized corner of the internet! I've finally made the jump from bean's blog to my own. Bear with me, it'll be slow going as I try to scrape the time together to post! But, I'd like to post non-monkey related items as I delve further into the world of crunchy mommyhood :) I've got lot's of stuff rattling around in my little brain!