My little monkey isn't too old, about 15 months now. We're still nursing a lot and I believe this is best for him for a million and one reasons. But I'm discovering that there is A LOT of cultural pressure for me to be actively weaning him now. And I'm not comfortable with that. He is not ready (he still gets a lot of his nutrition from mama milk) and why push it? What purpose does it serve? This is not a discipline issue or an emotional needs issue. When visiting family over the holidays, I really began to tune into how much discomfort I was causing around me. I even had one family member grill me quite loudly on the subject. Now, when I go out in public I am finding that I have to steel myself before nursing. I have never had any issues nursing in public. Now, I am beginning to feel self-conscious. I am also beginning to have people confront me. I feel defensive and nervous. What is wrong with people? Why is it that this makes people so ucomfortable that they feel they have the right to argue with you and confront you? Complete strangers! Do people believe it is a sexual act? Or are their own little perverse minds imagining things I can't even fathom? At any rate, I have resolved to continue nursing when and where my child asks for it. If I can advocate for little nurslings and poor nursing mamas everywhere just by being bold, then that will be what gives me my courage.
I found this cartoon and have to say, I think this may just become my answer!
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Sunday, January 7, 2007
artmaking and motherhood
I know there is a place for my gifts, my passions and desires in motherhood, but I'm not really sure where it is. I've been struggling for a year now to establish my own time sacred to the production of artmaking. I have an idea for a new series and I've even gotten a lot of materials but I just cannot seem to scrape together any time. I'm so incredibly frustrated. I believe firmly that this is where I should be and that I should be pursuing this, but I just cannot seem to get it together. The loss of my workspace last year was a big blow, with Jim's move into the basement and Daniel's move into the second bedroom. And I've spent a lot of time learning what it means to be a mother and caring for Daniel. (As it should be). I've also spent a lot of time and energy caring for my niece. And even more energy in trying to sort through this house. This is also the beginning steps to figuring out exactly where I can work. So here I sit, frustrated and with no real solution.
Thursday, January 4, 2007
Christmas is over
Can I sing a song? Even if there is technically a few days left of Christmas? Actually this year was a great advent and Christmas. I felt really able to worship all through the advent season and I was somehow able to accomplish all of the gift projects I had to do. And when I came home from Atlanta the house wasn't that hard to get back into control. (I was really dreading walking through the door because Jim and his friends had spent two days shooting 11 short films in our dining room which isn't very big... and the house was totally out of control before we left anyway). But, my blessed husband made a mammoth effort and the house was nearly back to zero when I came in! What a gift.
I've been thinking a lot about our house of late. We have so much stuff and much of it is special and should be kept but we really don't have a lot of space. And I find it overwhelming and oppressive. So, I've made the goal to cull and declutter and assign a place for everything in our home by August. And I've been going at it for about three months now. But it's been hard and sometimes I don't want to do it anymore because there is just so much. Today I spent a total of 3 1/2 hours on the phone with my longest friend (who stayed in my tornado-blown home over Christmas) and she was such an encouragement to me. She had so many good ideas for ways to tame the mountains of stuff. And she really helped me to recognize that I have had some successes like my kitchen and some of my closets. She also helped me to recognize that I cannot do this completely on my own, which I think I must have known on some level. I asked Jim to help me execute a plan and make this goal of August and he was so supportive. So now, while there is still a lot left to be accomplished, I'm feeling more refreshed than overhwelmed. Maybe I'll post an overview of the full plan once it is set.
I've been thinking a lot about our house of late. We have so much stuff and much of it is special and should be kept but we really don't have a lot of space. And I find it overwhelming and oppressive. So, I've made the goal to cull and declutter and assign a place for everything in our home by August. And I've been going at it for about three months now. But it's been hard and sometimes I don't want to do it anymore because there is just so much. Today I spent a total of 3 1/2 hours on the phone with my longest friend (who stayed in my tornado-blown home over Christmas) and she was such an encouragement to me. She had so many good ideas for ways to tame the mountains of stuff. And she really helped me to recognize that I have had some successes like my kitchen and some of my closets. She also helped me to recognize that I cannot do this completely on my own, which I think I must have known on some level. I asked Jim to help me execute a plan and make this goal of August and he was so supportive. So now, while there is still a lot left to be accomplished, I'm feeling more refreshed than overhwelmed. Maybe I'll post an overview of the full plan once it is set.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
